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Wife to Adam, mommy to Alexa & Adlee Grace, Christ follower, owner at NewSpring Church, lover of Clemson football, and all things monogrammed. Looking for ways to simplify, serve, and teach my girls what life is all about.

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Thursday, September 13, 2007

Time for reflection (but not too much)

As I look back on the past year, it's amazing to stand where I am now and think this time last year I was just waiting on my precious Alexa to be born. I was still working at Applebee's (rather unhappily I might add) and just counting the days or minutes until her arrival. Standing on this side I think WOW, if I had it to do over, there are probably some things I would do differently. For instance, I look back and regret not having pictures taken in the delivery room (after she was born of course), but with no epidural I was exhausted, looked awful, and my face was so swollen and all of the blood vessels had burst so I really just looked a mess. Even with all of that I regret that I don't have a picture of our first moment together. I still remember how sweet it was, even though I was ready to pass out, and I wish I had a picture to immortalize that.

Oh well, there are always things we can't change. There are even more things that I'm glad happened just the way they did. Like the moment I walked into my room the day we left the hospital and saw the absolutely gorgeous cradle my daddy made from scratch for us. What could be more special? How about the quilt my mama hand stitched? Not to mention the rest of Alexa's bedding and diaper bag that she also made. These are the things I hold dear to my heart. We were looking at a picture of the quilt yesterday and mama said something about Alexa not using it and that maybe she would get to this winter. I told her that to me it's not about her using it, it's about her loving it because her Mimi made it for her, and using it when she has a baby and then giving it to her daughter. That makes me smile. I know that when she dies (God willing a long time from now) that Alexa will be able to look at that quilt and say my Mimi loved me and she made this for me.

All of this to say that as I sit here reflecting on the last year of her life, well our lives, I realize that while it's good to spend some time reflecting we also can't focus on the past and what we did or didn't do. We have to focus on today because it's really all we have. God didn't promise any of us tomorrow. So, I'm going to enjoy today, and tomorrow God willing. I'm going to remember all of the joy that Alexa has brought into my life so far, and thank God for giving her to me. I'm going to enjoy every minute of the time we have together and I will look forward to the good times to come. I'm going to live life to the fullest and not worry too much about toys in the floor, or dishes in the sink. Some things will wait until tomorrow, but my sweet little girl growing up isn't one of them, and I don't want to miss it!

She and Walker both are forming the best personalites, and it's so sweet. It's also amazing to know that in some way you helped form who they are becoming. I can't imagine life without them, and hopefully will never have to. Life is such a gift. We have so much to be thankful for.

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