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Wife to Adam, mommy to Alexa & Adlee Grace, Christ follower, owner at NewSpring Church, lover of Clemson football, and all things monogrammed. Looking for ways to simplify, serve, and teach my girls what life is all about.

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Tuesday, January 20, 2009

I don't want ANY one...

I want THE ONE!

Last night in my home group I was hit with some hard TRUTH! As most of you know I have been single for a little over a year now, and it has not been an easy road for me. I have had thoughts like: 'is something wrong with me?' 'why isn't anyone asking me out?' 'am I ugly??!!' 'am I EVER going to get married?' and a myriad of other lies Satan likes to put in my head. So, let me first of all address those questions...
  1. Yes, there is something wrong with me...it's called I'm human, and as a result I will NEVER be perfect...thankfully I have Jesus and He has made me right with God, but only by His grace!
  2. Because it's not the right time, and by right time, I mean God's time! Don't get me wrong, I would be happy to have a date...but not if it's not God's plan!
  3. No, I'm not ugly! The bible says that God thinks I'm beautiful, and quite frankly, that's all that matters!
  4. I can honestly say I HAVE NO IDEA!!!! Truth be told, I really hope I get married one day, but God doesn't promise me that.

For home group last night we had a panel come in, it consisted of 2 married couples, and a single guy. They did a great job of answering some questions for us single gals, and I think we all learned a lot. I'm going to list a few of those things here...

The first question they addressed was: Can a guy and a girl just be friends? The easy answer is yes, if both have the intention of just being friends. Let's break that down a little bit...face it, most of the time at least one party has ulterior motives, and even if they don't, in the end there are going to be problems. One of the panel members gave light to a new thought...why would you invest so much time in someone or a relationship that is ultimately not going anywhere? I had never thought it like that. Obviously if a girl is really close with a guy who isn't her husband, when she gets married that pretty much ends. Creating hard or hurt feelings in the process.

One of the points our single guy brought up was that he had always been told to treat single women around him like his sister, but that wasn't really right. He said he wanted to protect his sister, and console her if something was wrong, and that wasn't appropriate for all the single girls around him. Then one of his married friends pointed out to him that he should be treating the single girls like they were another man's wife, because ultimately they are. I had never thought about that either...it seems innocent enough, because you would treat your sister/brother right, but you really don't need to be developing a close intimate relationship with every girl/guy you know.

One of the married guys made a point that simply blew me away! He said, it's not about how many Christian guys are interested in you, it's about the right one being interested in you. I suddenly realized that I have been looking at this from the wrong angle. I don't want just any guy to ask me out, or to pursue me. I want the right guy to pursue me! I am content to wait on the right guy until I am ready, and he is ready.

I have to say I thought the panel was great, and I really learned a lot, and God challenged me a lot as well. I am pretty sure the other girls felt the same way by their reactions.

I'm going to chase Jesus with everything I have, because I know His plan is the best. Philippians 4:11 says: Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever my circumstance. That is my prayer!


The Dales said...

Gosh, that applies to so many facets of life, not just dating and such. Its so so hard to strive to follow God's will and to wait for the right thing and to put your own desires aside but it makes for such a better ending. We are house hunting and we put an offer on a house today and we are SO nervous we won't get it but we also have prayed that whatever God's will is, that it will be done. But we truly have to claim that for ourselves, and not just pray it, or God will not honor our request. Wow, being human is so hard, we are so imperfect, aren't we?!?! We are so blesed to have God's grace and mercy!

Mrs. Mullen said...

Interesting ;-)
However, I must say that most of my friends are guys, sans you ;-) and I invested time with them b/c I saw them as friends...and just like I invest time w/ my girl friends I invested time with them b/c I enjoy having them as friends...nothing more. One of my bestfriends has been there through my ups and downs and we've never seen each other as more than friends. He was one of the first that I went to about my relationship w/ sev and asked advice from and he is now great friends w/ sev too. Lots of people looked at me funny when I spent the majority of my weekends w/ him while sev was deployed...it hurt me b/c I couldn't see why others were trying to judge me for who I hung out w/. His now g/f is one of my bestfriends and I have never been happier for him. I hate the idea that guys and girls can't be friends...or that they can but once they are married or in another relationship they cant. I think that all boils down to trust...trust between you, God, your friend and your spouse.
Don't x friendship out w/ a guy just b/c you're afraid that there might be hurt if one of you finds a mate :) you could be limiting yourself from one of the best friendships you could ever have.

I do agree w/ waiting for whom God ultimatly has in mind for you...how awesome is the relationship that is based firmly on Gods will!
I'm glad you're finding strength and comfort from your home group :-) and I'm also glad you realized you're not ugly, lol...knucklehead.

Jodi said...

yea - sounds like a great panel! Great insights! :)

Anonymous said...

You will find the right person at the right time! You may already be doing this, but something that my husband told me after we were married, was that he prayed for me before he even met me. He said he would pray that God would watch over me and keep me safe and help me to have a good day. That has been such a precious blessing to me!